Shimmy with the Stars: Celebrity Belly Dancers We Would Lose Our Zills Over
If you haven’t heard, Sienna Miller has been cast in a new movie “Just Like a Woman” as a Chicago housewife turned belly dancer who runs to Las Vegas to compete in a belly dance competition. Miss Miller isn’t our first choice for the celebrity-belly dance crossover, but it did get us all thinking in the HipMix.net office about our dream line-up of celebrity dancers. Join us for a HipMix.net created imaginary recital that you’d sell your favorite costume to see.
Emcee: Tom Ford
You only have to wear his clothing once to know this designer appreciates the female form, without forcing it to be a size zero. Wearing one of his own designs, he could add class to a zoo, so you know he’d make any recital feel like a red carpet event. But we aren’t satisfied with him just talking about belly dance; we have him slated as a surprise perfomance guaranteed to have everyone in the audience standing.
Opening Troupe Number: Kathy Bates, Betty White, Ellen DeGeneres, Neil Patrick Harris
What is a recital without a little humor? With a star-studded cast, you have to avoid taking yourself too seriously. Add these four comedic geniuses on the stage together for a great opening number that will still respect belly dance as an art form. We’ve got Kathy Bates, whose new show will increase your need to hug her. Betty White, everyone’s favorite white-haired actress. Ellen DeGeneres, who, had Dory been a belly dancing fish, surely would sing about “just keep shimmying”. And last but not least, Neil Patrick Harris, child doctor meets cult favorite, and you know Barney would approve of his being a part of belly dance (though probably not for the best reasons).
Tribal Wild Card: Natalie Portman
After Black Swan, you know she has the dedication necessary to pull off learning a tribal number in only a short time. This performance in no way needs her to thin down for the role. Plus, she can perform pre and post pregnancy as a much more body-friendly exercise than ballet.
Veiled Surprise: Kirstie Alley
We love a good veil number that provides some mystique and surprise. Who better to play coy with the audience than Kirstie Alley? We love her whether she's an undercover Gloria Steinham in a bunny costume, or fighting the Hollywood stereotype in Fat Actress. With a personality that lights up a room, she can test out her new dance skills with the help of belly dance's favorite prop.
Most Improved Perfomer: Hilary Clinton
We don’t normally go political in this office, but we want to see Hilary trade in her pants suits for a gypsy skirt. She knows she has a reputation for seeming all business, and she’s tried in the past to lighten her image. What better way to reveal her feminine side than with a walk on the belly dance side?
Show Diva: William Shatner
He’s saving you money on hotels, he is an ex-space-captain, and he is a cult hero. What we love about William Shatner, other than every project he’s ever touched, is that he has a reputation for being one of the nicest celebrities you will ever meet. Which is why he has to be our show diva. With an extravagant outfit, lots of glitter, and an attitude to match, Mr. Shatner will be our show stopper, hands down.
Group Spotlight Performance: Paul Rudd, Anne Hathaway, Justin Bieber, Jennifer Hudson
In every belly dance recital, there is that performance number where everyone dances together but also gets their solo performance. This fan-crazy cast is sure to get audiences cheering at the top of their lungs. Paul Rudd is famous for his dance moves, leaving some bloggers to question casting him in roles that don’t involve dance numbers. Anne Hathaway is a favorite of men and women alike, with her unconventional looks and curvy body. Justin Bieber... do words exist to explain the Bieber phenomenon? Last but not least, Jennifer Hudson, whose recent fitness and health kick is an inspiration to many.
Crazy Cabaret Act: Betsey Johnson
This eccentric designer is known to pair almost anything with, almost anything. She’s the crazy aunt that everyone wants, so we’d love to see what she cooks up for a cabaret performance. Though we’re not sure the title cabaret will stick once she’s done, we know for certain that we’ll all want her costume when she’s finished dancing.
Best Costume: Martha Stewart
Put down the pine cones and grab your rhinestones! Who wouldn’t want to see this crafty lady in her own hand-made bra and belt set? It's a good thing she’s improving her image after a major setback, because we love a good comeback story. Plus, if you’re taking her to a potluck hafla after the show, you know she’s going to bring the best baklava.
Sweetheart Act: Carrie Underwood
We’ve seen this all-American girl beat up a pickup truck with a baseball bat, but can she pick up a Saidi cane and dance? She’s such a sweet little thing, and a Saidi dance is just her style. With the right kind of playful interaction with the audience, her smile could melt the biggest belly dance critic into a hip drop loving fiend.
Drum Performances with Beata and Horacio: Heidi Klum and Seal, Prince William and Kate Middleton
What is a belly dance show without a great drum number? Well, we have two lined up, coached by only the greatest belly dance couple in Germany, if not the world. We’ve given them two tricky subjects to work their magic on. First, we want to see the German-born model, Heidi Klum perform with her man Seal. Although Seal clearly has the musical chops to drum, the two should switch mid-act because Seal is one gorgeous man who should shake his hips. Second, let’s break the stereotype that the Royal Family can't have fun by having the newest royal couple get on stage. Prince William and Kate Middleton seem like they know how to have a good time, and while we don't expect the Queen to have them belly dancing at their wedding, we can all hope they invite some belly dance royalty (Princess Farhana, anyone?) after they’ve learned the magic of oriental dance.
Just when you thought the show was over, a standing ovation and encore cheer brings the curtains back up. And HipMix is filling the line-up with some of their favorite celebrities.
Christina: Nathan Fillion
It's no secret around the HipMix.net office that Christina is a sci-fi-lovin' nerd, and top of her personal favorites is Nathan Fillion. She says he's just one of those guys who is comfortable with himself, plus being super masculine makes him all the more fun to watch belly dance.
Kaitlyn: Conan O’Brien
Kaitlyn’s not a blusher, but one mention of Conan and her face gets as bright as his hair. The man famous for making jeggings unisex is clearly comfortable enough to put on a pair of harem pants and shake his hips like a pro.
Dilara: Freeda George Foreman
Freeda is cool, Freeda is a proud Texan woman, Freeda kicks ass. And as the daughter of George Formean, how couldn't she? In her life, she's been a firefighter, boxer, writer, and philanthropist. Obviously the only thing missing on her resume is belly dancer!
Amelia: Kim Kardashian
We all knew what Amelia would say when we asked her what celebrity should belly dance. Amelia's been running a personal campaign, trying to get the curvaceous Kim Kardashian to don a couture costume, maybe even one designed by Dash.
Jen: Anderson Cooper
Jen did not hesitate when we asked her who should belly dance. Anderson Cooper may be a famous journalist, but we think he can take off the reporter hat long enough to experience what is making belly dance important to so many people.
We don't feel like our show is quite done. What are your picks? Who are we missing? Share them in the comments below.